Well, with a new year upon us, everyone has been thinking about how to make this year better than the last. We’re making our lists even if we say we don’t make new year’s resolutions. We’re going to work out more. We’re going to drink less wine. We’re going to be more attentive to our kids, and love our spouses better. We’re going to do our quiet times every day, and be more present with our friends and family…blah blah blah. The aspirations go on and on. That’s why when I think of New Year’s Resolutions, I think…Eww (Insert Jimmy Fallon voice).
Here’s why I’m going to TRY and not make any lists this year: I don’t need any other reasons to feel like a failure or let myself down. There, I said it. As women, we have SO many demands upon us each and every day. Our culture makes us feel like we have to be perfect. We have to look perfect at work. We have to look perfect in our yoga pants and trendy workout “activewear.” We have to be up to date with the latest health trend, feed our kids organic and make our own baby food. We are supposed to have houses that look like Pottery Barn where no signs of living can be present. We have to have kids who are well-behaved, great at sports and make straight A’s. We have to be hard workers, but also not be too aggressive in the workplace or else we’re offensive. We have to be super active in our kid’s PTA, active in a non-profit or a good-cause organization, and also be able to make a wreath out of kitchen household supplies. You might as well throw in there secret ninja skills allowing us to defend our children from attack, paramedics, licensed therapists (basically), and sex goddesses. The demands on women these days are given to us by our culture, our own selves comparing and judging, our friends or even our family. And at the end of the day, after feeling all of these demands on us like that red dot that appears when someone has a gun pointing at you, we just want to throw our hands in the air and say, “I give up!”
Stop the striving. I’ve come to the conclusion, and believe me, I haven’t mastered the concept, but we have to stop with all of this. We are frustrated and angry because we can’t be ALL THINGS to all people, and rest in this momma, you aren’t enough. We aren’t enough, we can’t be enough, we can’t be the women who have and do all things. We can try, and most of us do, but we just end up feeling defeated, judged or like failures. So, my non-new year’s resolution is to stop the striving. I want to stop comparing my weaknesses to other women’s strengths. I want to stop feeling less-than because I don’t know how to make Kennedy’s dresses BY HAND or iron a shirt (sorry Daniel.) I want to rejoice in the way God created me to be, and then in return be able to celebrate the things I’m not in other women around me! If we can actually do this, I feel like we would experience SO much freedom to be ourselves, be who God created us to be, and love one another much, much better.
I’m not enough. My second non-new year’s resolution is this: I’m not enough, but in Him, I am. God created us to need Him. He makes His power perfect in our weakness, which is something that gives me a TON of comfort. It’s ONLY when I’m depending on Him, that I can actually do all the things I need to do, and feel free to be who He created me to be. It’s only when I’m making time for Him that I am a better mom, a better worker, a better wife and a better friend. When I’m abiding in Him I’m also not comparing myself to other women. I’m not worrying about how I fall short because I’m so confident in who He made me to be, and that gives me the freedom to love others with an unbridled kind of love. THAT’s where real peace and real joy come from. So this year, I’m going to stop striving after the things that WILL NOT bring me joy, and I’m going to rest in Him. I’m going to pray hard for God to reveal His unique purpose for me on this earth, and pray He gives me the ability to live it out. I’m not going to settle for the mundane, thinking “Is this it?” I’m going to run after Him, and a natural result of that will be not feeling like I’ve let people down, and not letting myself down for the 900th time. I want to get rid of the things that distract me from going deeper with God, and you know what that is for me? BUSYNESS. When I try and do all the things I think I should be doing, I’m left with nothing and my family hurts because of it. So, I’m cutting out the busyness and saying “no” more. I’m going to abide in Him, be who He created me to be, and start celebrating who God made other women in my life to be too.
So as I end this New Year’s Resolution rant, I hope that you guys will join me in this endeavor! Let’s all rest in who He created us to be in all of our strengths but also all of our glorious mess. Let’s stop trying to do it all and just be. Let’s love more and compare less. Let’s make time to be with our Prince of Peace, and be better because of it. Cheers, ladies! Here’s to an incredible 2018!